Wanted: an experienced, discreet and organised logistics manager to oversee supply chain complexities in the confectionery sector. Must be happy to undertake very high-pressure, seasonal work, where even minor errors may lead to tears, tantrums and expensive vet bills. The ideal candidate will be able to navigate the legal complexities of garden trespassing and should not be afraid of dogs. Eating large quantities of the stock oneself is frowned upon and will also make the role increasingly difficult.
The Easter Bunny remains the undisputed heavyweight champion of strange—and surprisingly stressful—occupations. But in a seasonal burst of curiosity, we've done a deep dive into the challengers for his crown. A little digging has revealed that we have a surprising number of possibilities within the 9-2-3 team. If at any stage, you need someone who can dress up as a Disney character on a cross-channel ferry, or sing on a Nokia advert, feel free to let us know - it turns out that we have in-house expertise! We felt sure, though, that there must be even odder occupations than these. As a result, this Easter, we present to you the most weird and wonderful jobs we've ever come across. Perhaps they'll inspire a change of career direction...
Contender #1: Ostrich babysitters
Indeed. You read that correctly. Apparently, adult ostriches can become very aggressive and territorial on ostrich farms, and human carers are necessary to protect the chicks from danger. Our sources were unable to confirm whether the salary includes a "danger money" uplift to reflect the risks of the job, but we have been told that the ideal candidate would demonstrate an ability to remain unflappable - sorry! - in stressful situations, and possess rapid response reflexes.
Contender #2: Scuba-diving pizza delivery
The word on the street is that an underwater hotel in Florida Keys engages scuba divers to deliver pizza to guests, in sealed, watertight cases, to enhance their stay. It's not obvious to us how the delivery is actually made at the destination, so we'd imagine that "problem-solving abilities" feature highly in the job description. We can see how things could get quite soggy, quite quickly...
Contender #3: Oshiya/train pushers
Rush hour in Tokyo is pretty intense, with the city's subway system carrying almost 9 million people every day. And sometimes when you're late for your meeting, you've just got to (ask for help to) do what you've got to do. That's where the Oshiya, or "train pushers" come in. There are literally people employed to stand on train platforms and push commuters on to trains, to make sure that the crowds are moved through the stations as efficiently as possible. Wearing their trademark white gloves, both for hygiene reasons and for ease of visibility, their aim is to cram as many humans on to each train as possible. Photographs show people literally hanging out of the doors, diving to internal safety only as the doors swish shut. It's not clear whether the moment is followed by a sigh of relief or a gasp of shock, as you find yourself nose-to-nose with another traveller.
Contender #4: Bicycle Fisher
Those of us who are more mature in years will remember the Katie Melua song about there being 9 Million Bicycles In Beijing. There are (allegedly – we’re not sure whether anyone's counted them all individually) almost 900,000 of them in Amsterdam. And the combination of bicycle wobbles and canals inevitably means that many of them end up in the depths of Amsterdam's canals every year. Waternet, the agency responsible for keeping the city's canals clean, therefore employs whole teams of people whose sole job it is to fish bicycles out of canals. We're guessing it feels to them by the end of the week as though there are approximately 9 million of them...
Contender #5: Professional bed warmer
This might feel a little uncomfortable as a concept. I'm not sure I'm desperate to have someone, even a respected professional, snuggling down in my bed before I get into it. But we hear that in some luxury hotels, it's a service much-loved by guests. At your request, a bed-warmer can don a special fleece suit, jump in and warm up your bed for you before you settle down for the night. Perhaps in the depths of winter, it would sound more appealing!
Contender #6: Odour judge
Requiring a highly developed sense of smell, odour judges are often employed by manufacturers of toothpaste, deodorants, or cat litter, for example, or in environmental management. You might be disappointed to learn that you can't just rock up and apply for these roles; odour judges will need to undergo rigorous training in order to be able to identify whether products are working effectively, or to monitor odour pollution. They might be required to sniff smelly odour samples of breath, human feet, or underarms - each of which sound pretty challenging. But you'll be glad to know there's also the option to diversify within this career field, and to specialise in detecting odours from sewage, waste or industrial process. Good news, no?
Contender #7: Dog food taster
With the potential to earn a very respectable salary of £50,000, dog food tasters are charged with the task of testing pet food for quality, texture and smell, and providing detailed feedback, to help companies to refine their products. These roles are not to be barked at - they often require a background in food science or nutrition. Happily, we can confirm that tasters usually spit the food out after tasting, rather than swallowing. You know, a little like wine-tasters. But, er, crunchier.
Contender #8: Iceberg Mover
It does what it says on the tin. If you have a precious cargo being shipped across the world, and there happens to be an inconvenient iceberg in the way, these lovely people are your new best friends. They have tugboats, they have cranes, they have a can-do attitude. It'll be plain sailing all the way!
Contender #9: Drying Paint Watcher
If you've ever felt as though watching paint dry might be more interesting than the task you're undertaking, perhaps now's your chance to test that theory. Paint companies do in fact employ people to watch paint dry, and to closely observe and record how long it takes, and what happens to the colour and texture of the paint in the process. Don't laugh, but apparently it takes huge amounts of concentration....
Contender #10: Professional Cuddler
This last one pulls at our collective heartstrings a little. In this age of isolation, where we all spend so much of our lives online and our contact with other living beings has been reduced, you can now become a professional cuddler. This involves providing strictly platonic, therapeutic physical touch for those who can't find it elsewhere. After all, every one of us needs a cuddle sometimes, no matter how much of a stiff upper lip we try to display. So whilst we don't want to ruin the career prospects of the professional cuddler, perhaps we should consider offering a hug to those we meet who seem to need one. You just never know how much it might brighten their day.
So there we have it: the most peculiar positions we know of. But if none of these is your dream job, don't worry - you don't need astounding powers of smell, strength or taste to find something which makes you bounce up and down in excitement this Easter. We can help you to find roles in fields from finance to facilities management, and most things in between - you just need to have the courage to take the first step. If the spring sunshine has made you think it's time to grow and blossom in a new role, give us a call today! After all, fortune favours the ones who actually pack their, er, Easter baskets.
Happy Easter from all of us at 9-2-3!